Turning 40

Is 40 the new 30 or are we just fooling ourselves (or filling ourselves) with Botox?

I turned 40 on October 25th of 2012, though it's still hard for me to believe. FORTY. It's such a dirty word. Still. Really? I didn't think so. I thought that all changed. I don't feel old. I actually feel like I'm 26. I have no idea why I chose 26, just sounds like a good number, I guess.

When you tell people you're 20-something or thirty-something they say things like, "Oh, you're still a youngin'" or "You have so much more life to live." When your response to the question of how old you are is "Forty", drop that F-bomb and step back because you get hit with all sorts of ammunition; it can feel like laser-like shots from a water gun filled straight from the garden hose on a hot summer day and just as shockingly cold. You may hear, with jaw in dropped position: "WOW!" or "Really?!" or "You look good for your age", "I would have never guessed FORTY", but never, "You're still so young!" Those days are gone, my fine forty friends.

Something happened between October 24th and October 25th of last year. I became old. I turned. I spoiled; passed my expiration date if you will. It must be the whole female biological clock thing. Mine is ticking exactly as it should be, with the precision of a Timex. I feel great. No complaints.

What upsets me is the double standard going on here, as men who are 40 can snatch up much younger women. Although I do receive advances from men who are in their 20's, I just don't see that ever working and I never take those boys (sorry boys) seriously. Impossible. Poor Demi Moore. I don't blame Ashton a bit. He was just too young to be able to see into the future. He's like a big kid and he wants kids. Demi just couldn't be there for him in that way but me, I still have time. Hey, Ashton? How YOU doin'? Kidding. I'm much more of a Justin Timberlake fan. Maybe it's my touring days that affect that decision but JT wins, hands down. That man has got some soul, depth and incredible talent.

So, my fine-feathered forties, we all get so caught up in day-to-day "stuff" with the job, house, kids, marriage, divorce, what have you and we sometimes forget to check in with ourselves.

Here are a couple of things I think about and if you recently turned 40 like I did, some of these things might be helpful to remember:

* Feel proud (hey, you've been alive a loooooong time ;))
* Eat lots of veggies
* Hydrate inside with water, outside with almond or coconut oil
* Look forward and be present
* Forgive your family/friends (hey, who knows how long we all have left? Ha!)
* Sleep 8 hours per night
* Set goals
*Tick something off your bucket list
*Be generous of yourself
* Be kind in everything you do
* Kiss and hug your children
*Make children if you don't yet have any (they're pretty cool)
*Know the difference between saying "I love you" and actions of love and act, damn it. Act!
* Learn something new (the art of basket weaving, perhaps?)
* Breathe deeply
*Call your friends
*Make appointments with yourself
* Stretch your body
* Open your mind
*Listen
* Don't put anything off
*Save for retirement
* Start today!

I feel now that after these forty years on earth, I know myself better than ever. My goals and intentions are clear. My path has never been without bumps and twists, but that has been the path of my life and always will be. I crave chaos and don't feel comfortable without it. Now that I know that about myself, I am much more at peace. So, while I don't know exactly how to get there, or which mountain range I must climb in order to reach my goals, I know where I'm going to end up. I'm smarter, more confident, more filled with love than ever.

For everyone I know who recently turned 40, happy birthday. Here's to the next 40. Let's do this thing!