I would like to thank Elizabeth Cassidy, Stephanie Stern, Waldo Cabrera and Verizon who created this video with us on staging a home.
Huge thanks to Pete Sobierajski from JP Services who donated not only his own services but donated a whole team of men to help this elderly homeowner who so desperately needed to sell her home.
I had an amazing time!
Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DU3qfiz8VfY
What didn't make it into the video:
We spent $2,900 and staged this entire home in one day.
$1,100 spent on paint, slipcovers, bedspreads, lighting, kitchen cabinet knobs, throw pillows and small decor items.
$1,800 spent on labor for a team of highly-skilled men
What exactly did we do to stage this home?
We:
painted the outdoor furniture, mailbox, living room, dining room and kitchen
removed all extraneous furniture and decor items
repurposed all remaining furniture
rehung existing artwork
cleaned, organized and merchandised all rooms in the home
replaced window treatments in living room, dining room and guest room
replaced lighting in the bathroom, living room, dining room and kitchen
removed all family photos and personal items
removed old carpeting
repaired screen door
painted front door, mailbox and house numbers
organized backyard furniture
then we cleaned some more
The result? Instead of sitting on the market for a year incurring price reduction after price reduction, this house sold in a couple of months for a very fair price.
If we had more than one day and more of a budget (Pete Sobierajski from JP Services and I shared the cost and donated our services so the homeowner didn't have to pay for anything) we would have done more, however, he positive results of even small improvements to the home before it goes on the market are evident here.
Sometimes all you need is professional advice and good, old-fashioned elbow grease. :-)
Please enjoy our video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DU3qfiz8VfY
Contact jpservices@ymail.com for any phase of construction or remodeling.
Welcome to my blog! I'm Jennifer Scully, a single mom, an interior designer based in Long Island, New York. Here I will be posting tips on how to be the best you can possibly be. I will post lifestyle tips and other random things like my awesome children's charity and I will share stories which will give you a peek into my sometimes crazy life. Thanks for reading!! And be sure to visit my websites www.jenniferscullydesigns.com and www.jenniferscullyinteriors.com
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Kick-Start Your Weight Loss
A bunch of you have recently asked me for more weight loss tips, so here you go.
Since I have always been more of a Marilyn Monroe body type than say a Kate Moss, I have always struggled with 10-15 lb fluctuations. On a short girl, even 5 extra lbs looks like a lot. My body wants to be voluptuous. I used to want to be skinny. Now I just want to be healthy. I recently did what I have written below and it yielded tremendous results.
I have mentioned this privately to those of you who have been interested in the nitty gritty details of a relatively easy and no-brainer weight loss aid. The place to start is fiber.
Now, yes, what I am recommending here is tree bark (cellulose) and it's not the greatest thing to eat all the time but it's hard to eat 7,000 prunes a day or to get enough fiber to get your body clean with fresh food so I cheat a little with this when I need a jumpstart. I will leave the frequency and longevity of this up to you but this really works and works quickly and safely.
Fiber One Cereal is one of the only "easy" foods found in every supermarket and most drug stores that will give you enough fiber to cleanse your body.
The original Fiber One formula contains 57% of your daily fiber needs and the Honey Clusters formula contains 51%. Either of these cereals is a great way to cleanse your body naturally without flushing your system with juices or those "Hollywood" diets, which actually only dehydrate you and can be quite dangerous.
If you don't like the cereal and need another alternative, Gnu Foods makes bars called Flavor & Fiber. They have 12 grams of fiber per serving and are great if you are on the go. Fiber fills you up and satisfies cravings.
Increasing the fiber in your diet cleans the cilia in your colon. Doing this not only promotes weight loss and healthy body function but it also can help prevent diseases that stem from having plaque build-up in your colon.
Add coconut oil, hot sauce, flax seeds and tea to your diet. Remove pasta, rice and ALL sugar and ALL processed foods. Green coffee beans work, Tonalin works. My thing is I forget to take pills. I'm a healthy girl so I'm not used to taking anything on a regular basis but I always remember to eat breakfast so this is, in my opinion, the easiest thing to do to at least get you on your way.
Drink water and tea. Even diet soda plays with your insulin production. A mango tea with a fresh mint leaf and some Stevia is just as satisfying. I am a coffee girl myself (with milk, no sugar) and can't seem to give that up. It doesn't seem to interfere with weight loss.
After two weeks of eating this cereal within 20 minutes of waking you should drop a clothing size or more.
Say no to "Would you like to make that deluxe?" (french fries) and say yes to burgers wrapped in lettuce with hot sauce. Eat two. Skipping the carbs and sugars after breakfast will make you feel lighter. Feeling lighter makes you in turn eat less. That's why this is a jumpstart.
I went from a size 10 to a size 8 in two weeks just by eating this cereal and without making any other changes in my diet or exercise regimen. I went from an 8 to a 6 within four weeks. Then, depending upon my day, I either ate small meals throughout the day or at least a larger lunch and smaller dinner (try not eating after 6 or 7 PM). I always drink lots of water, even in the winter. This is all a start and the beginning step is easy.
It works for me. Try it and see how you do!
Since I have always been more of a Marilyn Monroe body type than say a Kate Moss, I have always struggled with 10-15 lb fluctuations. On a short girl, even 5 extra lbs looks like a lot. My body wants to be voluptuous. I used to want to be skinny. Now I just want to be healthy. I recently did what I have written below and it yielded tremendous results.
I have mentioned this privately to those of you who have been interested in the nitty gritty details of a relatively easy and no-brainer weight loss aid. The place to start is fiber.
Now, yes, what I am recommending here is tree bark (cellulose) and it's not the greatest thing to eat all the time but it's hard to eat 7,000 prunes a day or to get enough fiber to get your body clean with fresh food so I cheat a little with this when I need a jumpstart. I will leave the frequency and longevity of this up to you but this really works and works quickly and safely.
Fiber One Cereal is one of the only "easy" foods found in every supermarket and most drug stores that will give you enough fiber to cleanse your body.
The original Fiber One formula contains 57% of your daily fiber needs and the Honey Clusters formula contains 51%. Either of these cereals is a great way to cleanse your body naturally without flushing your system with juices or those "Hollywood" diets, which actually only dehydrate you and can be quite dangerous.
If you don't like the cereal and need another alternative, Gnu Foods makes bars called Flavor & Fiber. They have 12 grams of fiber per serving and are great if you are on the go. Fiber fills you up and satisfies cravings.
Increasing the fiber in your diet cleans the cilia in your colon. Doing this not only promotes weight loss and healthy body function but it also can help prevent diseases that stem from having plaque build-up in your colon.
Add coconut oil, hot sauce, flax seeds and tea to your diet. Remove pasta, rice and ALL sugar and ALL processed foods. Green coffee beans work, Tonalin works. My thing is I forget to take pills. I'm a healthy girl so I'm not used to taking anything on a regular basis but I always remember to eat breakfast so this is, in my opinion, the easiest thing to do to at least get you on your way.
Eat one bowl of this cereal below with skim milk every morning within 20 minutes after waking. Add almonds, fresh berries, flaxseeds, whatever you like and make it a complete and really satisfying meal.
Eating as soon as you wake up is a signal to your body that it should rev up its engine. If you can force yourself, even though you may not be hungry, you will absolutely burn more calories and feel much better.
For the rest of your snacks and meals, please eat real, fresh food: fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, meat, poultry and fish. Limit carbs for the rest of the day. If you can make everything you eat organic, free-range, no hormones, no antibiotics, all the better. What's faster than fast food? Fruit. It's faster to run into a store and buy an apple and some almonds than it is to go to a Drive-Thru. Plus you'll have more energy, you'll feel better and look better.
After two weeks of eating this cereal within 20 minutes of waking you should drop a clothing size or more.
Say no to "Would you like to make that deluxe?" (french fries) and say yes to burgers wrapped in lettuce with hot sauce. Eat two. Skipping the carbs and sugars after breakfast will make you feel lighter. Feeling lighter makes you in turn eat less. That's why this is a jumpstart.
I went from a size 10 to a size 8 in two weeks just by eating this cereal and without making any other changes in my diet or exercise regimen. I went from an 8 to a 6 within four weeks. Then, depending upon my day, I either ate small meals throughout the day or at least a larger lunch and smaller dinner (try not eating after 6 or 7 PM). I always drink lots of water, even in the winter. This is all a start and the beginning step is easy.
It works for me. Try it and see how you do!
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Ode To My Father
I wrote this poem below today in about 5 minutes. It wasn't planned. It just happened.
A little backstory: My father died of a drug overdose when I was four years-old. It was a tragic accident, some said. Some people just couldn't handle their drugs, others mumbled.
When I was sixteen, my father's mother called me to tell me she was dying. She had some things of my father's that she had wanted me to have before she passed. My grandmother handed me an orange leather suitcase and told me to go through it when I got home.
Inside were my dad's high school yearbook, his bronzed baby shoes, a few Polaroid photographs, some of my stuffed animals from when I was a baby and a sealed envelope with my name on it.
The letter was a note written to me by my father explaining that he wasn't a good dad, couldn't be a proper role model and I would be happier without him. He described his death as planned. It was a suicide. Since no one was with him at the time of his death, no one had known exactly what had happened to him. But there in my tiny dormered bedroom in the two bedroom Cape Cod in which I grew up; on that sunny afternoon when I was a sophmore in high school, I found out the truth.
Ode To My Father
You were born out of love
But that love quickly waned
A tumultuous childhood stole your smile
You grew up, you fell in love
And soon a child had his child
You played the part, you did your job
You tried to make it work
‘Two children raising a child?’
I say now, with a smirk
Your anger, regret and angst quickly made you sick
Your disease soon overtook you
And there was no turning back
There was no high that was high enough
That could help you free your mind
From the demons of your past
Looming close behind
You tried to be good, you tried to be there
But you just couldn’t do it
You said I’d be better without you
And you made quick work of it
A father should be there in mind, body and spirit
You took your life for “my sake” instead
Though I didn’t want to hear it
Leaving is a selfish act though you claim it selfless
For there is a hole in my heart that cannot be filled
That feeling on occasion is relentless
I must forgive to get me through
Around my mind it’s hard to bend
Why you thought I didn’t need you
I can never comprehend
We all have struggles we’re not unique
But it’s in how we deal with them
That’s why I choose to stay, face and fight with the best of them
My daughter is now 7 with smiles upon her face
Because her father chose to heal instead and occupy her space
The most powerful thing, Dad, is that history is not repeating in this very important case
Thursday, June 13, 2013
My Meeting With Usher
In 2004, just after my marriage dissolved, as a newly single woman trying to make my $3,700 per month Manhattan rent any way I could, I became a singing, acting, modeling, make-up artist. I piece-mealed a living. It worked. I enjoyed the freedom, the flexibility and the chaos working all those jobs provided me.
The year-long Enrique Iglesias tour I was on had just ended and instead of singing for 110,000 people in London or on TV in front of millions on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, you could have found me singing at weddings, bar-mitzvahs or any clubs or restaurants in NYC that would agree to pay me. On my days off from performing, I took to driving to Long Island to help my mother by working in her chocolate shop. I miss that chocolate. My mom closed the doors to her confectionary empire about 4 years ago.
The tour manager from Enrique's camp with whom I had become friendly called me up one day and invited me to an Usher concert at The Garden. "Usher? Who's that?" I was so busy working during that time trying to scramble up an income that you wouldn't have been able to catch me chilling out on the drive to LI listening to the radio, bopping along to the latest tunes on Z-100. Instead I was on the phone making deals or racking my brain to figure out the next step in my life. And since I worked nights and weekends as a singer, I couldn't make it to the bars or clubs so I lived under a rock, pretty much. I really didn't know anything about this Usher dude but I wanted to support my friend and his new 'little tour job thingy,' so I said yes.
I was promised front row seats but when I got there I was told that Naomi Campbell, at the last minute, had purchased every seat in the first three rows of Madison Square Garden. Apparently Naomi and this "Usher person" were dating at the time. The venue was sold out. There wasn't a seat in the house; a mishap that won me the rare privilege of watching the show from the stage. The feeling that night was electric. My viewing area was actually a 1'x1' section of wooden floor in "the wings", a theater term used to describe the sides of the stage behind the curtain. I stood there for the first few minutes of the show, which was mind-blowing, when I was suddenly nudged. I looked over my shoulder for a brief second but then turned back to watch the show. A moment later I got a shove; I mean a really big shove out of the way. When I looked next to me to see who could be so rude, it was none other than Diddy. Diddy, who, despite his clout, had an even smaller section than 1 square foot in which I had to stand, so he stole some of my prime space. It was my second time being that close to him. You can check out my first Diddy meeting on my blog.
After about 5 minutes of trying to ignore the smell of too-strong cologne and enjoy the show, I took notice of my surroundings. Diddy's entire entourage had slowly seeped in. They completely infringed upon my space and I was muscled out of the way. My tour manager friend noticed my predicament, grabbed me by the hand, ran me out front to the second row of seats on the floor in front of the stage and said, "Here. Is that better? Naomi and her camp all cancelled. No one's showing up. You have the whole three rows to yourself, Darlin.'"
And there I was. And there he was. It was me and Usher, Usher and Me. I should preface this by mentioning that I sang at Madison Square Garden the previous year and the way the lights hit your eyes, you can only really see the first two or three rows in the center on the floor and since I was the only person sitting in that entire section...He was supposed to be looking out at Naomi Campbell and her 80 or so friends but they "flaked out" at the last minute and just I was there instead. It was me and Usher, there on that night; virtually alone. An intimate concert pour deux. I felt so uncomfortable. Because all he could really see was me, he made eye contact throughout the whole show. His presence is strong and his stare intense. And even though I have years of musical and dance training, I was suddenly feeling like this awkward white girl with no rhythm because I didn't know the music.
Usher was and still is very handsome and he commanded the stage like Michael Jackson. He owned it. His demeanor was smooth, sexy, strong and he sang and danced his ass off. Every good performer uses crowd participation by turning their microphone toward their loyal fans so they can sing along with the music. Usher likes to do this a lot; I would imagine that singing and dancing for the entire show gets tiresome so a little help from the audience is probably necessary. Since I had never heard any of his music before in my life, every time he did that, I sank in my chair a little deeper, nodded and politely smiled. He looked so deflated. He was almost becoming angry; perhaps not at me per se but at Naomi and then at his management for not filling the front few rows with, well, at least fans when his girlfriend blew him off. I know from experience, the energy a performer gets from the crowd is so crucial to the performance. I totally ruined his night.
After the show, my friend took me backstage to introduce me to Usher. I could tell he was a little pissed. He was wondering why I came. His mind was racing. He was speechless. Then he said, "I saw you out there. In front, right? That was you?" I said, "Oh, yes that was me. I'm so sorry that I don't know your music. My friend Bill told me you are really talented and I should check out your show so I came to support him. Great job, man. I really enjoyed it." Usher responded "I could tell" in a sarcastic tone. I am pretty sure I was the only woman Usher shook hands with that night who didn't at least almost faint.
Usher, I'm sorry for that night. I'm more sorry about your girlfriend. And thank goodness you're not still dating her. Good move!
Friday, March 8, 2013
How Well Do You Know Yourself?
I am constantly amazed at the number of people who don't seem to know much about the subject they should get straight A's in. Themselves.
There are few things I know so much about but then again, I am an only child and I have had quite a bit of time to think.
It's obvious a person isn't too well-acquainted with himself when he's asked, (and please don't ask), "So, tell me about yourself." (which is like the worst non-question-that's-really-a-cop-out-in-command-form ever) You'll get, "I'm a doctor. I studied at Yale University. I'm 32 years old. I grew up in Boston." And more fantastically interesting and min-blowingly deep answers like that. Is that who you are? Is what you do to make money or where you went to school- is that what defines you? I actually NEVER ask someone what they do for a living unless they are super-quiet, we're only half-way on a drive from NY to FL and I'm plum outta questions.
The more meaty questions are: What is your passion? What are your dreams? Goals? What is your favorite thing to do when you are alone? What is the one thing you could change about yourself if only you could?
A few things I already know about me: I crave chaos so I create it by procrastinating, rushing, creating impossible to-do lists or daily tasks. I need to feel accomplishment. I can't sleep with the door closed. I think too much. Conversely and yet simultaneously, I let my heart decide too often. I eat when I'm stressed. I hate taking out the garbage and running errands. I abhor food shopping or any shopping for myself. I haven't worn my 'dry clean only' clothes in 10 months because I just can't get myself to go to the dry cleaner. It's the wrote and mundane and I hate it! I hate mean people and being cold. And cold, by the way, is anything less than 60 degrees- only because cold is so relative. And now I'm done with that part. I don't like the word "hate" and only reserve it for those select items.
I pick at my cuticles. I deprive myself too often.
I know that there's no such thing as perfect but I still always try. It's a losing battle, so I breathe and let it go, but tomorrow I may just try again. I am the definition of insanity in that case. I attempt to win approval from those whom are so difficult to give it. I fail and then...try again. I have been called "crazy, but in a good way" more than once. I can be really fun!
I challenge myself and set goals which I always achieve (some I am in the middle of achieving as I write). I am sensitive yet strong. I am on a good path. I can't change. No one can. So it's about acceptance. I accept myself. I'm always trying to be better and do better and I believe everyone should but in the end, we will still be ourselves, only better. Know that about your own damn self and everyone around you. People don't change! P-e-o-p-l-e d-o-n-t c-h-a-n-g-e.
Favorite place on earth so far? Italy. Next dream vacation? Brazil, maybe. The rainforest seems so magical, don't it?
I used to dance naked in front of the mirror when I was alone. Now, I work. I'm trying to change that but it's a process.
Enough about me. Let's talk about you:
Where would you live if you could choose anywhere on earth?
If you could trade lives for a week with anyone living or dead whom would that be?
If you could ask Martin Luther King, Jr. one question, what would that be?
Who would you rather see as our next president- Bill Gates or George Clooney and why?
What makes you cry?
If you were living on a deserted island and had plenty of fruit and nuts would you take up hunting or fishing? I'm saying you don't have to for nutritional purposes. Yes? What are you, a savage?
You're at the movies and you can only choose popcorn OR Goldenberg's Peanut Chews. Which one? Quick. There's a long line!
What makes you laugh so hard you start crying? Well, go out and do that right now and then tell me about it so I can laugh with you.
Please ask yourself these important questions and others- just keep going. Take one of those dating quizzes like the 17,000 page one on eharmony.com because if you know yourself you then possess the key to making yourself happy/satisfied/peaceful/fulfilled; even for a moment, an hour, a day, an hour a day, whatever it is. You can't rely on others to give you the feeling of happiness, peace or acceptance or what you need at the moment. And remember, a happy life just consists of more fun moments than not, so don't be afraid to tip the scale. Make good choices. Choose to not be angry or frustrated. Choose instead to laugh it off. No one has it easier or harder than you. It's all how you process it, handle it and most simply, look at it.
There are few things I know so much about but then again, I am an only child and I have had quite a bit of time to think.
It's obvious a person isn't too well-acquainted with himself when he's asked, (and please don't ask), "So, tell me about yourself." (which is like the worst non-question-that's-really-a-cop-out-in-command-form ever) You'll get, "I'm a doctor. I studied at Yale University. I'm 32 years old. I grew up in Boston." And more fantastically interesting and min-blowingly deep answers like that. Is that who you are? Is what you do to make money or where you went to school- is that what defines you? I actually NEVER ask someone what they do for a living unless they are super-quiet, we're only half-way on a drive from NY to FL and I'm plum outta questions.
The more meaty questions are: What is your passion? What are your dreams? Goals? What is your favorite thing to do when you are alone? What is the one thing you could change about yourself if only you could?
A few things I already know about me: I crave chaos so I create it by procrastinating, rushing, creating impossible to-do lists or daily tasks. I need to feel accomplishment. I can't sleep with the door closed. I think too much. Conversely and yet simultaneously, I let my heart decide too often. I eat when I'm stressed. I hate taking out the garbage and running errands. I abhor food shopping or any shopping for myself. I haven't worn my 'dry clean only' clothes in 10 months because I just can't get myself to go to the dry cleaner. It's the wrote and mundane and I hate it! I hate mean people and being cold. And cold, by the way, is anything less than 60 degrees- only because cold is so relative. And now I'm done with that part. I don't like the word "hate" and only reserve it for those select items.
I would probably steal your chocolate when you're not looking. But then I would buy you some more...online. Did ya hear me when I said I hate shopping?
I pick at my cuticles. I deprive myself too often.
I know that there's no such thing as perfect but I still always try. It's a losing battle, so I breathe and let it go, but tomorrow I may just try again. I am the definition of insanity in that case. I attempt to win approval from those whom are so difficult to give it. I fail and then...try again. I have been called "crazy, but in a good way" more than once. I can be really fun!
I challenge myself and set goals which I always achieve (some I am in the middle of achieving as I write). I am sensitive yet strong. I am on a good path. I can't change. No one can. So it's about acceptance. I accept myself. I'm always trying to be better and do better and I believe everyone should but in the end, we will still be ourselves, only better. Know that about your own damn self and everyone around you. People don't change! P-e-o-p-l-e d-o-n-t c-h-a-n-g-e.
Favorite place on earth so far? Italy. Next dream vacation? Brazil, maybe. The rainforest seems so magical, don't it?
I used to dance naked in front of the mirror when I was alone. Now, I work. I'm trying to change that but it's a process.
Enough about me. Let's talk about you:
Where would you live if you could choose anywhere on earth?
If you could trade lives for a week with anyone living or dead whom would that be?
If you could ask Martin Luther King, Jr. one question, what would that be?
Who would you rather see as our next president- Bill Gates or George Clooney and why?
What makes you cry?
If you were living on a deserted island and had plenty of fruit and nuts would you take up hunting or fishing? I'm saying you don't have to for nutritional purposes. Yes? What are you, a savage?
You're at the movies and you can only choose popcorn OR Goldenberg's Peanut Chews. Which one? Quick. There's a long line!
What makes you laugh so hard you start crying? Well, go out and do that right now and then tell me about it so I can laugh with you.
Please ask yourself these important questions and others- just keep going. Take one of those dating quizzes like the 17,000 page one on eharmony.com because if you know yourself you then possess the key to making yourself happy/satisfied/peaceful/fulfilled; even for a moment, an hour, a day, an hour a day, whatever it is. You can't rely on others to give you the feeling of happiness, peace or acceptance or what you need at the moment. And remember, a happy life just consists of more fun moments than not, so don't be afraid to tip the scale. Make good choices. Choose to not be angry or frustrated. Choose instead to laugh it off. No one has it easier or harder than you. It's all how you process it, handle it and most simply, look at it.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Dating Horror Story #?
Online dating is for creeps. Who said that? I breathe deeply and begin my story.
So this story takes place awhile back. I'm telling this story just now, hoping enough time has passed that "he", the subject, will forget to look me up. All names, most places and gory details will be changed to protect the innocent.
I was contacted through an online dating site by a gentleman who is a few years younger than I. He had these piercing blue eyes, that shone even through my computer screen like pale blue spotlights. They were as large as saucers; like a beautiful doll in a very expensive toy store. He seemed very nice and super-interesting but yet didn't say much about himself except that he is a writer. A writer. Nice. Creative, thoughtful, insightful, intelligent. Love him already.
I googled him, saw his photo, saw that he is in fact a writer, read one piece of his, saw a video of him on a major TV show and knew it was safe to pass on my phone number. I had asked him to call me but he never did. He preferred email. Okay. He's a writer. Fine.
We made plans to meet for one drink in NYC. I worked a full day, showered after work and hauled my butt to the city. When I arrived in Manhattan, I received a text from him that he would be late. "Ok, no problem" was my answer. I went to the spot he had chosen to wait for him. It was a very noisy bar/club with a doorman, red velvet rope and filled with half-naked 20 year old kids. I walked in, pretended to see someone in the back and when the coast was clear I promptly darted toward the ladies' room.
My head was pounding from the Boom ba-boom-boom Super Bass after being there for 14 seconds. How would I get through an hour or more at this place? How would this guy be able to hear a word I said? I looked at msyelf in that ladies room mirror and said, "Self? You gotta get outta this joint and pronto, Bub. Ya hear?" So I ventured out onto the Manhattan street in search of a more suitable place, all the while, trying to conjure up a reason why I changed locations so as to lead him away from the thought that I'm not "fun" or "cool" enough to meet at a club.
He sent another text, another excuse, another half hour or more. He's really late now. It's been an hour. I'm already here. What to do? Turn around and go home or display my go-with-the-flow attitude?
I walked east in an attempt to find another place in the neighborhood we could meet that would say I'm a cool chick but I am a quiet, romantic chick. I stumbled upon a bar on 2nd Avenue and walked in for inspection. When I opened the door, like a vacuum, the smell of what must have been 47 years of dried, spilled beer and vomit sucked me in and filled my nose. Maybe a choice like this would prove that "I can hang?"I stayed for about a minute and when I found out there was a punk band setting up I decided to keep walking. And walking. Nope. There was nothing else around. I was wondering if I was in some kind of bizarre vortex. I was in Manhattan and couldn't find a place to meet someone? I walked downtown.
I meandered a few blocks down and came upon a fire house with an open garage door. As I neared the opening, I noticed a few firemen standing right in the doorway. I approached the group of strapping lads wearing tight t-shirts with a deep breath and a smile. Upon closer inspection, my jaw began to drop as it looked like they were in the middle of the meeting to decide which one would be chosen to be on the cover of the NYC Firefighter Calendar. Hunky, tall, strong and wow, to say the least.
I looked around their semi-circle, wiggled my way in and waited politely to say, ahem, "Excuse me?" They all stopped and stared at me like I was a baby gazelle with a wounded leg in the middle of the African grasslands during a drought. I asked them if they could recommend a place in the neighborhood to have a first date. "It's a blind date", I said, "and he's 1 1/2 hours late." One fireman, Mike, introduced himself. He told me he lives on Long Island and he was getting off in 20 minutes. If I could wait, he would be happy to take me anywhere I wanted. I sheepishly giggled and gracefully declined, stating that I had made plans with someone and wouldn't want to stand that person up. Mike said, "Well, anyone who leaves you stranded for this long can't be worth waiting for. If you change your mind, you know where to find me." Then Mike told me about a place just down the block that was a quaint a quiet, dark and romantic place to grab a drink. I went there, ordered a drink and made myself comfortable. Two or three more texts later, my date showed up. Almost 2 1/12 hours late.
He began by asking me if I knew who he was. I said no. His mouth fell open and his already silver dollar sized eyes grew even larger. He went on to tell me about how he is famous and kind of went on to say that I must live under a rock if I didn't know of him. Well, I do live under a rock. I own two businesses and I'm a single mom with 5 pets. When do I have time for TV, reading, going out, keeping up with pop culture, etc.? I'm lucky I have time to shower! This guy was very disappointed that I wasn't impressed with him, his celebrity friends or his phenomenal name-dropping skills so the date went nowhere and we cordially parted ways. He said I should start singing again and he would take me out for karaoke but I didn't think that would be the best idea and it never happened. Narcissism is a disease that can't be cured and I don't want to even co-chair a charity like that.
I want to thank Mike the fireman from Long Island for making an awful night so much better at least in retrospect and Mike, I should have waited the 20 minutes for you and told famous boy that I wait 2 1/2 hours for no one. Firemen are truly heroes.
So this story takes place awhile back. I'm telling this story just now, hoping enough time has passed that "he", the subject, will forget to look me up. All names, most places and gory details will be changed to protect the innocent.
I was contacted through an online dating site by a gentleman who is a few years younger than I. He had these piercing blue eyes, that shone even through my computer screen like pale blue spotlights. They were as large as saucers; like a beautiful doll in a very expensive toy store. He seemed very nice and super-interesting but yet didn't say much about himself except that he is a writer. A writer. Nice. Creative, thoughtful, insightful, intelligent. Love him already.
I googled him, saw his photo, saw that he is in fact a writer, read one piece of his, saw a video of him on a major TV show and knew it was safe to pass on my phone number. I had asked him to call me but he never did. He preferred email. Okay. He's a writer. Fine.
We made plans to meet for one drink in NYC. I worked a full day, showered after work and hauled my butt to the city. When I arrived in Manhattan, I received a text from him that he would be late. "Ok, no problem" was my answer. I went to the spot he had chosen to wait for him. It was a very noisy bar/club with a doorman, red velvet rope and filled with half-naked 20 year old kids. I walked in, pretended to see someone in the back and when the coast was clear I promptly darted toward the ladies' room.
My head was pounding from the Boom ba-boom-boom Super Bass after being there for 14 seconds. How would I get through an hour or more at this place? How would this guy be able to hear a word I said? I looked at msyelf in that ladies room mirror and said, "Self? You gotta get outta this joint and pronto, Bub. Ya hear?" So I ventured out onto the Manhattan street in search of a more suitable place, all the while, trying to conjure up a reason why I changed locations so as to lead him away from the thought that I'm not "fun" or "cool" enough to meet at a club.
He sent another text, another excuse, another half hour or more. He's really late now. It's been an hour. I'm already here. What to do? Turn around and go home or display my go-with-the-flow attitude?
I walked east in an attempt to find another place in the neighborhood we could meet that would say I'm a cool chick but I am a quiet, romantic chick. I stumbled upon a bar on 2nd Avenue and walked in for inspection. When I opened the door, like a vacuum, the smell of what must have been 47 years of dried, spilled beer and vomit sucked me in and filled my nose. Maybe a choice like this would prove that "I can hang?"I stayed for about a minute and when I found out there was a punk band setting up I decided to keep walking. And walking. Nope. There was nothing else around. I was wondering if I was in some kind of bizarre vortex. I was in Manhattan and couldn't find a place to meet someone? I walked downtown.
I meandered a few blocks down and came upon a fire house with an open garage door. As I neared the opening, I noticed a few firemen standing right in the doorway. I approached the group of strapping lads wearing tight t-shirts with a deep breath and a smile. Upon closer inspection, my jaw began to drop as it looked like they were in the middle of the meeting to decide which one would be chosen to be on the cover of the NYC Firefighter Calendar. Hunky, tall, strong and wow, to say the least.
I looked around their semi-circle, wiggled my way in and waited politely to say, ahem, "Excuse me?" They all stopped and stared at me like I was a baby gazelle with a wounded leg in the middle of the African grasslands during a drought. I asked them if they could recommend a place in the neighborhood to have a first date. "It's a blind date", I said, "and he's 1 1/2 hours late." One fireman, Mike, introduced himself. He told me he lives on Long Island and he was getting off in 20 minutes. If I could wait, he would be happy to take me anywhere I wanted. I sheepishly giggled and gracefully declined, stating that I had made plans with someone and wouldn't want to stand that person up. Mike said, "Well, anyone who leaves you stranded for this long can't be worth waiting for. If you change your mind, you know where to find me." Then Mike told me about a place just down the block that was a quaint a quiet, dark and romantic place to grab a drink. I went there, ordered a drink and made myself comfortable. Two or three more texts later, my date showed up. Almost 2 1/12 hours late.
He began by asking me if I knew who he was. I said no. His mouth fell open and his already silver dollar sized eyes grew even larger. He went on to tell me about how he is famous and kind of went on to say that I must live under a rock if I didn't know of him. Well, I do live under a rock. I own two businesses and I'm a single mom with 5 pets. When do I have time for TV, reading, going out, keeping up with pop culture, etc.? I'm lucky I have time to shower! This guy was very disappointed that I wasn't impressed with him, his celebrity friends or his phenomenal name-dropping skills so the date went nowhere and we cordially parted ways. He said I should start singing again and he would take me out for karaoke but I didn't think that would be the best idea and it never happened. Narcissism is a disease that can't be cured and I don't want to even co-chair a charity like that.
I want to thank Mike the fireman from Long Island for making an awful night so much better at least in retrospect and Mike, I should have waited the 20 minutes for you and told famous boy that I wait 2 1/2 hours for no one. Firemen are truly heroes.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Turning 40
Is 40 the new 30 or are we just fooling ourselves (or filling ourselves) with Botox?
I turned 40 on October 25th of 2012, though it's still hard for me to believe. FORTY. It's such a dirty word. Still. Really? I didn't think so. I thought that all changed. I don't feel old. I actually feel like I'm 26. I have no idea why I chose 26, just sounds like a good number, I guess.
When you tell people you're 20-something or thirty-something they say things like, "Oh, you're still a youngin'" or "You have so much more life to live." When your response to the question of how old you are is "Forty", drop that F-bomb and step back because you get hit with all sorts of ammunition; it can feel like laser-like shots from a water gun filled straight from the garden hose on a hot summer day and just as shockingly cold. You may hear, with jaw in dropped position: "WOW!" or "Really?!" or "You look good for your age", "I would have never guessed FORTY", but never, "You're still so young!" Those days are gone, my fine forty friends.
Something happened between October 24th and October 25th of last year. I became old. I turned. I spoiled; passed my expiration date if you will. It must be the whole female biological clock thing. Mine is ticking exactly as it should be, with the precision of a Timex. I feel great. No complaints.
What upsets me is the double standard going on here, as men who are 40 can snatch up much younger women. Although I do receive advances from men who are in their 20's, I just don't see that ever working and I never take those boys (sorry boys) seriously. Impossible. Poor Demi Moore. I don't blame Ashton a bit. He was just too young to be able to see into the future. He's like a big kid and he wants kids. Demi just couldn't be there for him in that way but me, I still have time. Hey, Ashton? How YOU doin'? Kidding. I'm much more of a Justin Timberlake fan. Maybe it's my touring days that affect that decision but JT wins, hands down. That man has got some soul, depth and incredible talent.
So, my fine-feathered forties, we all get so caught up in day-to-day "stuff" with the job, house, kids, marriage, divorce, what have you and we sometimes forget to check in with ourselves.
Here are a couple of things I think about and if you recently turned 40 like I did, some of these things might be helpful to remember:
* Feel proud (hey, you've been alive a loooooong time ;))
* Eat lots of veggies
* Hydrate inside with water, outside with almond or coconut oil
* Look forward and be present
* Forgive your family/friends (hey, who knows how long we all have left? Ha!)
* Sleep 8 hours per night
* Set goals
*Tick something off your bucket list
*Be generous of yourself
* Be kind in everything you do
* Kiss and hug your children
*Make children if you don't yet have any (they're pretty cool)
*Know the difference between saying "I love you" and actions of love and act, damn it. Act!
* Learn something new (the art of basket weaving, perhaps?)
* Breathe deeply
*Call your friends
*Make appointments with yourself
* Stretch your body
* Open your mind
*Listen
* Don't put anything off
*Save for retirement
* Start today!
I feel now that after these forty years on earth, I know myself better than ever. My goals and intentions are clear. My path has never been without bumps and twists, but that has been the path of my life and always will be. I crave chaos and don't feel comfortable without it. Now that I know that about myself, I am much more at peace. So, while I don't know exactly how to get there, or which mountain range I must climb in order to reach my goals, I know where I'm going to end up. I'm smarter, more confident, more filled with love than ever.
For everyone I know who recently turned 40, happy birthday. Here's to the next 40. Let's do this thing!
I turned 40 on October 25th of 2012, though it's still hard for me to believe. FORTY. It's such a dirty word. Still. Really? I didn't think so. I thought that all changed. I don't feel old. I actually feel like I'm 26. I have no idea why I chose 26, just sounds like a good number, I guess.
When you tell people you're 20-something or thirty-something they say things like, "Oh, you're still a youngin'" or "You have so much more life to live." When your response to the question of how old you are is "Forty", drop that F-bomb and step back because you get hit with all sorts of ammunition; it can feel like laser-like shots from a water gun filled straight from the garden hose on a hot summer day and just as shockingly cold. You may hear, with jaw in dropped position: "WOW!" or "Really?!" or "You look good for your age", "I would have never guessed FORTY", but never, "You're still so young!" Those days are gone, my fine forty friends.
Something happened between October 24th and October 25th of last year. I became old. I turned. I spoiled; passed my expiration date if you will. It must be the whole female biological clock thing. Mine is ticking exactly as it should be, with the precision of a Timex. I feel great. No complaints.
What upsets me is the double standard going on here, as men who are 40 can snatch up much younger women. Although I do receive advances from men who are in their 20's, I just don't see that ever working and I never take those boys (sorry boys) seriously. Impossible. Poor Demi Moore. I don't blame Ashton a bit. He was just too young to be able to see into the future. He's like a big kid and he wants kids. Demi just couldn't be there for him in that way but me, I still have time. Hey, Ashton? How YOU doin'? Kidding. I'm much more of a Justin Timberlake fan. Maybe it's my touring days that affect that decision but JT wins, hands down. That man has got some soul, depth and incredible talent.
So, my fine-feathered forties, we all get so caught up in day-to-day "stuff" with the job, house, kids, marriage, divorce, what have you and we sometimes forget to check in with ourselves.
Here are a couple of things I think about and if you recently turned 40 like I did, some of these things might be helpful to remember:
* Feel proud (hey, you've been alive a loooooong time ;))
* Eat lots of veggies
* Hydrate inside with water, outside with almond or coconut oil
* Look forward and be present
* Forgive your family/friends (hey, who knows how long we all have left? Ha!)
* Sleep 8 hours per night
* Set goals
*Tick something off your bucket list
*Be generous of yourself
* Be kind in everything you do
* Kiss and hug your children
*Make children if you don't yet have any (they're pretty cool)
*Know the difference between saying "I love you" and actions of love and act, damn it. Act!
* Learn something new (the art of basket weaving, perhaps?)
* Breathe deeply
*Call your friends
*Make appointments with yourself
* Stretch your body
* Open your mind
*Listen
* Don't put anything off
*Save for retirement
* Start today!
I feel now that after these forty years on earth, I know myself better than ever. My goals and intentions are clear. My path has never been without bumps and twists, but that has been the path of my life and always will be. I crave chaos and don't feel comfortable without it. Now that I know that about myself, I am much more at peace. So, while I don't know exactly how to get there, or which mountain range I must climb in order to reach my goals, I know where I'm going to end up. I'm smarter, more confident, more filled with love than ever.
For everyone I know who recently turned 40, happy birthday. Here's to the next 40. Let's do this thing!
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